I’m supposed to be vasectomized and goofy on anesthesia right now, but none of my doctors told me I needed to stop taking one of my medications three days ago, so the anesthesiologist cancelled the surgery, and I got a Monday off instead. I’m not complaining about the Monday off, but I am gonna complain a little bit about the situation that led to me sitting here annoyed and writing instead of out of my mind on propofol and giggling at Regular Show.

The whole thing really kinda amplifies modern life in these United States. Surgery I was gonna have to pay for even though I currently have health insurance, scheduled almost four months in advance because the doctor only performs that operation on the second Monday of each month (and his appointments don’t begin until 1:00 PM) cancelled because at least two different people dropped the ball (no pun intended), re: relaying a simple message to the patient.

What really refries my frijoles is that I did everything else right. Every single thing they told me to do or not do to get ready for the procedure, I did, or did not, as it were. I would’ve followed the rule, if they’d told me the rule. I got it rescheduled easily enough (the doctor even offered to do it this Friday, which didn’t work for Sheila or me because we both cast our lot with the service industry decades ago), but that’s not the point. I was very relieved that I would never have to alter my private area with a razor again (utterly harrowing!), and now I do have to alter my private area with a razor again because at least two separate individuals in at least two separate locations (all of them professionals in the medical field) failed to tell me I would need to cease taking a pill three days prior.

But I’m not here to talk about the busted-ass healthcare system in this country, or about my private area. Today, I wanna talk about Louder Than Life, because it’s been a while since I’ve written about it (a little over 8 months!), and also because the 2025 edition kicks off in 63 days, if you count the pre-party the night before Day One, which I most certainly do. In approximately 5,443,200 seconds, I will clock out from work and cease to forget that I even have a job for nine days, and Sweet Baby Jeebus am I ever excited!

This year’s lineup is the biggest ever (“160+ bands” according to the official website), and as such, it’s also maybe the most mixed bag I’ve ever seen for this particular festival, as far as my interest in the bands. Thursday’s main stage lineup is jaw-droppingly heavy and badass, with the sole exception of Marilyn Manson, who can fuck directly off and into the sun. The guy’s a super creep, but more importantly, I never liked his music, so his inclusion (likely killing my momentum between Down and Lamb of God) is disappointing to me. The cool thing about the way LTL is set up, though, is that I can fuck off and do something else while he’s lowering the property value on that side of the festival grounds, and I might not even have to miss any of Down or Lamb of God.

However, as I’ve mentioned before, the cruel nature of the multiple stage setup means that in addition to wanting to stay in the vicinity of the main stages all day, the second stage also has a lot of things that tickle my fancy, and the Kroger Big Bourbon Bar also has four bands I’d really like to see. Thankfully the third stage doesn’t have anything for me on Day One. The rest of the weekend should be easier to maneuver (unless the schedules are put together by someone with personal vendetta against me), and I’m already excited about being able to leave early on Day Two and again on Day Four, because I’m definitely gonna need that to make it out alive.

Long-time readers of my nonsense may recall that I wrote back in early December that if Acid Bath got announced for Louder Than Life 2025, I would “shit everyone’s pants”, and if you look toward the top of Day Three there, you’ll see that come September 20th, I’ve got some defecatin to do. I’m gonna lose my mind when they play “Graveflower” and “Pagan Love Song”.

I’ll definitely be writing plenty more about Louder Than Life over the next 90,000 or so minutes (and beyond), but for now I’m gonna wrap this up. Thanks for reading, and be sure to subscribe so you don’t miss any of the excitement of my rambling essays about LTL2K25, how much I hate working for a living, and/or my private areas.