Note: I wrote this on June 17, 2013, and originally posted it on an old music-related blog that I kept with my homeboy Travis (from back in the day). Neither of us posted anything else on that blog after this, for whatever reason. Probably because we knew there was no way we could top this brilliant piece of music commentary (ha!).

On January 11, 2014, I started my heavy music-themed blog Stay Heavy, and on August 8, 2016, in a severe fit of misguided ambition, I decided to start another blog called TV Party Tonight, wherein I was gonna write exclusively about TV theme songs. I edited this thing and posted it there, and then never even started to write anything else for that blog. Probably because I knew there was no way I could top this brilliant piece of music commentary (ha!).

Last night I remembered that it exists, and I decided to plop it up here as well. It has been, once again, slightly edited for coherence, grammar, and style.

It is my belief that television theme songs are a vastly under-appreciated genre of music.  The very best TV theme songs set the tone for the program you’re about to watch, and often they set up the basic premise of the show. Several of my all-time favorite songs are actually TV theme songs, and I thought I’d take a moment to lay out my All-Time Top Ten Television Theme Songs (Sitcom Edition), for your perusal.  Now, without further ado…

10. “As Long As We Got Each Other” (Growing Pains – 1985-1992) – This is a fine example of a theme song being superior to its show.  If I never saw Growing Pains again, I’d be fine with that, but I sincerely love the sappy sentimentality of this theme, sung by pop singers B.J. “Raindrops Keep Fallin’ On My Head” Thomas and Jennifer “(I’ve Had) The Time of My Life” Warnes.

9. “Without Us” (Family Ties – 1982-1989) – I kind of enjoyed Family Ties when I was a kid, mostly because I thought Nick was funny, and because I thought Mallory was foxy, but it was a little bit over my head with the political and social themes.  My sisters watched it pretty often (I suspect they were at least a little bit interested in watching that dreamboat Michael J. Fox). The theme song , sung by Johnny  Mathis and Deniece “Let’s Hear It For the Boy” Williams, has resonated with me since the first time I heard it, and it has a sappiness similar to the Growing Pains theme, but it also feels more sincere than the Growing Pains theme.

8. “Night Court” (Night Court – 1984-1992) This instantly recognizable instrumental is pretty much always on repeat somewhere in my brain. I still find the show to be immensely enjoyable too, though it is a bit dated (existing from 1984 to 1992 will do that to you, I suppose). I love that the first 8 seconds kinda make you think you might be about to watch a gritty cop drama, then the title screen appears, and the song takes off, and by the end, you’re ready for some laughs, by golly.

7. “Yo! Home to Bel-Air” (The Fresh Prince of Bel-Air – 1990-1996) – This show is something of an anomaly in my life, because it was one of only two TV shows starring a rapper that my dad and I enjoyed together (the other one was Law & Order: Special Victims Unit, obviously). We didn’t have cable television when I was growing up, so our programming choices were more limited than many families’ at the time, but I really think my dad would’ve watched this show even if we’d had cable, just because he thought it was funny. He didn’t laugh often, but when he did, it was genuine. This lesser-known, longer version of the theme song was used in the first three episodes, and is a good bit more awesome. The song was co-written by Will Smith and Quincy Jones. Spoiler alert: this is not Mr. Jones’ only appearance on this list.

6. “WKRP in Cincinnati” (WKRP in Cincinatti – 1978-1982) – I think this show is funny, but as it went off the air when I was five years old, I’ve only ever really seen it in syndication.  My cousin Jason, who is two years older than me, had a major thing for Loni Anderson when we were kids, so I watched it with him occasionally, and it’s one of the first TV theme songs that I can remember loving.  It’s very much a product of its time.

5. “Nothing’s Gonna Stop Me Now” (Perfect Strangers – 1986-1993) – This is another show that my cousin liked more than I did, and another example of a theme song being better than its source program.  I certainly enjoy Perfect Strangers much more than I enjoy Growing Pains, but I still can’t watch more than a couple of episodes without getting bored.  The theme song, however, is uplifting and inspiring, and it’s a lot of fun to sing along with.

4. “Where Everybody Knows Your Name” (Cheers – 1981-1993) – There’s very little I can say about this song or the show.  Both are absolutely classic, and if you disagree, well I hope you enjoy being wrong.  It was co-written (with Judy Hart Angelo) and sung by Gary Portnoy, who also co-wrote the theme from Mr. Belvedere (“According to Our New Arrival”) and the theme from Punky Brewster (“Every Time I Turn Around”), both of which are in my All-Time Top Twenty-Five Television Theme Songs (Sitcom Edition).

3. “It Takes Diff’rent Strokes” (Diff’rent Strokes – 1978-1986) – Before Thicke of the Night and Growing Pains, TV’s Alan Thicke co-wrote TV theme songs. I really enjoy singing this one in the shower, and sometimes the missus and I will spontaneously break out in a stirring duet. This show is probably one of my earliest comedic influences; I thought Arnold Jackson was the absolute height of comedy when I was 5 years old.

2. “The Simpsons Main Title Theme” (The Simpsons – 1989 – ∞) – “I gave [Danny] Elfman what I called a ‘flavors’ tape, featuring the kind of sound I wanted for The Simpsons theme. The tape included The Jetsons theme, selections from Nino Rota’s Juliet of the Spirits, a Remington electric shaver jingle by Frank Zappa, some easy-listening music by Esquivel, and a teach-your-parrot-to-talk record. Elfman gave it a listen and said ‘I know exactly what you’re looking for.’ A month later we were recording the now-famous Simpsons theme on the 20th Century Fox lot with a huge orchestra.” – Matt Groening [from the liner notes to The Simpsons: Songs in the Key of Springfield (1997)]

1. “The Streetbeater” (Sanford and Son – 1972-1977) – If Quincy Jones had never written another song in his life, he would still be one of the greatest songwriters of all time, because he wrote the theme from Sanford and Son.  This show went off the air just under one month before I was born, but my older brother watched it all time in late-night syndication, and I watched it with him, at first because I thought he was cool, and I wanted to do whatever he was doing, but eventually I realized how fucking hilarious the show is, and it became an all-timer.  I instantly loved the theme song, and I still love both the song and the show just as much as I ever did.  This is, without a doubt, one of my All-Time Top Twenty Favorite Songs (Any Genre), and I could listen to it for days.  My super-awesome wife and I were introduced at our wedding reception to this song.

And here’s the full-length version, because you can literally never hear “The Streetbeater” enough times, even if you lived to be 382 years old.

So that’s it – my personal  All-Time Top Ten Television Theme Songs (Sitcom Edition).  The themes from Barney Miller, Fish (both of which were co-written by Jack Elliot, who also wrote the theme from Night Court), The Jeffersons, Good Times, Three’s Company, and M*A*S*H all fought valiantly for a slot in the Top Ten, but were ultimately bested by the rock-solid lineup you see above. I’d be interested to know your thoughts on my picks, and on TV theme songs in general. Leave a comment, why don’t you?

This brings us to the end of the original piece. Thanks for reading. For the record, I’m still interested in your favorite TV theme songs.