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The Machine is Now Alive, Desensitized With Open Eyes: A Thing About Louder Than Life 2025 (Day One)

/ Rev. Joel / 3 Comments

Hello! And welcome to the first installment of my long, rambly thing about the spectacle that was Louder Than Life 2025 (“America’s Loudest Rock & Metal Festival”). If you’re a glutton for punishment, or perhaps you’re on doctor-ordered bed rest and need something to pass the time, you can find all the stuff I’ve written about previous years here. As I mentioned in a post a few weeks ago, this year’s festival was moved to the parking lot adjacent to the Highland Festival Grounds, making the layout completely different than the past five installments, all of which were already varying degrees of different than each other, layout wise. I personally found very few pros with regards to the new location, but I’ll get to all of that later.

The new layout was much bigger and more spread out, and included access to Kentucky Kingdom and an “expanded VIP section”, plus the merch tent was no longer a tent, but was instead inside the air-condtioned Kentucky Exposition Center. All those things sound great for crowd control, don’t they? The problem is, you gotta factor in all the people that will be filling up that expanded space, and the people are one of the main things that can really make or break one’s enjoyment of a large event.

I was jazzed to see Italian death metal freaks Fulci open up the main stages, and we planned things carefully so we could get there in time to see their entire set. I went much easier on the open bar at the Day Zero welcome party this year, on account of our traditional Day One breakfast date at Wild Eggs on Floyd Street was set for 8:30 AM on Thursday, which would give us plenty of time to catch our shuttle and get inside the gates before Fulci’s scheduled 11:45 start time.

Here’s me posing with my doppelgänger at the welcome party.

Speaking of our shuttle: that system was very different this year as well. In past years, Pegasus Transportation has provided the service, with pick-up spots downtown at both the Galt House (the hotel where we stay1) and the Marriott, and with drop-off approximately 100 yards from the entry gates. This year, every ticket/hotel package included a shuttle exclusive to that hotel, which seemed like an even sweeter deal (though Pegasus Transportation was never mentioned by name). Then on August 26, we learned that the shuttle system had been changed, and pretty drastically. Danny Wimmer Presents (the company who puts on the fest) took over the shuttle service, and there was now one downtown pick-up/drop-off spot, located at the Convention Center. While it was annoying that we were gonna have to walk extra before and after getting inside the gates and walking all day, that part wasn’t so bad, as we were only 3 blocks from the Convention Center.

Here’s where it got less good: our driver got us to Gate 1, only to be yelled at by a woman working there, who informed him that shuttles were no longer permitted to enter Gate 1, and instead had to go to Gate 6. Our driver told her he wasn’t from around there, and didn’t know where that was, and she told him to “put it in [his] GPS”. Very helpful. He then spotted another shuttle ahead of us that had turned right, away from the festival gates, and began to follow. Time was no longer on our side. At 11:45, he finally found the drop-off spot, and we began the 1/4 mile walk to the gates behind a whole lot of people with absolutely no sense of urgency.2 Less than 60 seconds later, we hear Fulci frontman Fiore bellow “WE’RE FULCIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIII!” and all hell broke loose from that stage, and I was so sad and angry that I wasn’t there watching it.

We got inside pretty quickly and easily, and I hauled ass to Main Stage 2 to catch the rest of their set, and it was fucking awesome. Scenes from legendary Italian director Lucio Fulci’s films played behind the band, and the blood and terror on the screen added a ridiculously fun element to the set. At one point, this bizarre sound started coming from the stage, and kept looking back and forth between the two guitarists to try and figure out which one of them was making that unholy, inhuman noise, but they both seemed to be playing fairly standard riffs. I soon realized that the sound was coming from Fiore’s mouth. It was so intense and amazing, and I no longer cared about the shuttle nonsense, because I remembered that I had a full day of kick-ass metal and hardcore ahead of me.

That lunatic vocalization I was talkin about happens around the 1:30 mark. This is not my footage. In fact, none of it will be my footage, unless otherwise noted.

After Fulci, I met up with Sheila in the Top Shelf area to cool off and get some snacks and drinks before we made our way to the VIP area to meet up with our friends Mitch and Amanda, who also attended with us in 2022. We started the journey as Fear Factory took to Main Stage 2. I wore out a cassette of their 1995 album Demanufacture when I was in my early college years (aka the beginning of my Wilderness Years), and they’re touring on the 30th anniversary of that album, so I was pretty pumped to hear some of those songs live. I would’ve much rather heard them with original vocalist Burton C. Bell on the mic, but c’est la vie. Milo Silvestro did a great job, and “Demanufacture”, “Zero Signal”, “Replica”, and “H-K (Hunter-Killer)” all transported me straight back to 1995-96, and I screamed along with “I’VE GOT! NO MORE! GODDAMN! REGRETS! I’VE GOT! NO MORE! GODDAMN! RESPECT!” just like I did in my car, and it was glorious and extremely cathartic.

Desensitized by the values of life, maligned and despaired by government lies.

They finished out their set with two songs from Demanufacture‘s follow-up, Obsolete (1998), and one song from 2001’s Digimortal, and then Richmond, Virginia thrash masters Municipal Waste kicked off an energetic, whirlwind 12-song set spanning a large chunk of their discography. At one point, frontman Tony Foresta demanded non-stop crowd surfing, saying “Pearl Jam made it famous, we made it cooler!” They kicked a ton of ass, and I’m glad I finally got to see them. Personal highlights for me were “You’re Cut Off”, “The Thrashin’ of the Christ”, and “The Art of Partying”.

I couldn’t find any decent sounding footage of any of my personal highlights, so here’s a video instead.

The Black Dahlia Murder brought some Michigan death metal to Main Stage 2 next, and I wanted to stay for the entire thing, but unfortunately, Big Ass Truck‘s set at the Big (Ass) Bourbon Bar started 25 minutes after TBDM’s set, and the BBB stood on the far end of the grounds from where we came in. By the time we arrived, the tent was so full that we could barely even see the band. We listened/kinda watched for a couple of songs, then I made my way over to the “second stage” area, with grindcore institution Full of Hell already in progress on the Decibel Stage. They were incredibly loud and chaotic, and I loved every second of it, even if I did watch on the big screen to the side of the Reverb Stage.

This is obviously not from LTL, but I couldn’t find any clips from their performance, and this is an excellent representation of what they brought to LTL, albeit in blazing sunlight and stifling heat.

The reason I watched on the big screen to a side of the Reverb Stage is because I wanted to secure a spot on the rail for Santa Cruz, California hardcore/crossover heroes Drain, because I wanted to receive as much of their energy as possible before hustling back to Main Stage 2 for as much of Exodus‘s 35-minute set as I could possibly see. Vocalist Sammy Ciaramitaro came out jumping, yelling, and smiling, and didn’t stop moving for the entirety of the 10-15 minutes I was in the vicinity of the Reverb Stage, and I’m sure he didn’t stop after I left, either. He was crowd surfing before the first verse of opening song “Feel the Pressure” even started, and he spent the rest of the song on the ground, letting various members of the crowd sing most of it. I’m not sure I’ve ever seen a more energetic frontman. I really look forward to catching a full set from these dudes, hopefully sooner than later.

I was way over in front of the screen on the right side of the stage for 12-ish minutes of hardcore magic.

I hated to leave, but I really wanted to see Exodus, and I figured I’ll have more chances to see Drain than I will Exodus, just from an “age of the members” standpoint, so I walked as fast as possible through a whole gaggle of clueless dipshits with no sense of urgency, and arrived at the back of the crowd about two minutes into the epic “Deathamphetamine”, off their monstrous 2005 album Shovel Headed Kill Machine. I’m stoked I got to hear that song live, but the length of it meant they played fewer songs, which resulted in a 7-song set, which was a bit of a bummer. Another bummer is that the sound didn’t seem quite right for what they do. I don’t really know how to explain it any better, but they didn’t sound as good as they should have, and it was clear that it wasn’t the band’s fault. The crowd was enthusiastic, though, and the pit was appropriately violent and fun. I’m glad Rob Dukes is back on the mic, and barring the miraculous resurrection of original frontman Paul Baloff (RIP to the OG poseur killer), I hope they keep him around until the end.

Everybody’s doin the Toxic Waltz, good friendly violent fun in store for all.

The gigantic new layout meant that I missed all of Sanguisugabogg‘s set on the Decibel Stage, because there was simply no way to see any real amount of it without missing Exodus’s set and more than half of Cavalera (aka Cavalera Conspiracy), featuring brothers Max and Igor Cavalera, formerly of Sepultura. They’re on tour performing Sepultura’s 1993 album, Chaos A.D. in its entirety. The album was part of the soundtrack to the second half of my high school years, and there was no way I was gonna miss it. They unfortunately weren’t able to play the whole album, as their set time wasn’t long enough, but they played most of it. They kicked off with album opener “Refuse/Resist”, which is more of a soundtrack to our times than I ever thought possible, then tore through six more songs from the album before shifting gears slightly to play “Symptom of the Universe”, which Sepultura recorded for the 1994 album Nativity in Black: A Tribute to Black Sabbath (another album that soundtracked my mid-90’s life). They closed with all-time party-starter “Territory”, and sixteen year-old Joel heard it and felt it and moshed to it and sang along with it, and he saw that it was good.

Let there be riffs.

At this point I really needed to rest, but nuts to that, because the mighty Cannibal Corpse was up next over on Main Stage 2. Luckily, the Top Shelf section is closer to MS2, so I was able to pop inside the tent while they played set opener “Blood Blind” (from their most recent album, 2023’s Chaos Horrific) to get some quick conditioned air, a bite to eat, and lots more free water, so as to avoid dying of exhaustion.3 Every second of their 40-minute set right up through “Hammer Smashed Face” was flawless, and I was happy as a pig in shit to be in attendance for it.

Men of violence doomed in death, their reward for a life of sin.

Sludge/groove metal supergroup Down followed back over on Main Stage 1, and I was pumped to see them for the first time. Their debut album NOLA came out in 1995, and like Fear Factory’s Demanufacture, it kept me sane during my early college years. I have a variety of thoughts about Phil Anselmo as a person, but the fact is, the man is partially responsible for some of the most formative music of my youth.4 And it doesn’t hurt a single bit that the band is rounded out by Pepper Keenan (Corrosion of Conformity) and Kirk Windstein (Crowbar) on guitar, the incomparable Jimmy Bower (Eyehategod) on drums, and Pat Bruders (Goatwhore) on bass. Absolute titans, every one of them.

I’m staring right back at myself, and through its frozen image, I’m laughing right back at my hell.

Marilyn Manson was next on Main Stage 2, and I’d planned on being anywhere but within earshot of him, but it was so hot outside, and the fact that it was still Day One and I was already fucking exhausted, plus the fact that dinner is served at 6:00 in the Top Shelf tent means that I sat in the tent and ate and drank and somehow managed to shut the noise out. In fact, I didn’t notice anything about the band until they started their cover of “Sweet Dreams”, and then I was like “oh yeah, I forgot they covered this. I still hate it”, and went right back to ignoring it. Long story short, Marilyn Manson is a garbage human being who makes mediocre music, and he should not be celebrated.5

Anyway, Lamb of God was next back on Main Stage 1. I was really looking forward to their set, as I wasn’t able to properly appreciate their set when they played back in 2022, on account of my dad dying the day before, and the fact that I had to drive back home twice in two days. It was worth the wait. They were fucking incredible from start to finish. Randy Blythe is a phenomenal frontman, and the entire band is just elite.6 They also performed the second Black Sabbath/Ozzy Osbourne cover of the weekend, “Children of the Grave”, and it was badass.

“A lot of people would be a lot happier if they went to concerts where flames shot out of the stage every now and then.” – Sheila

Up next was Rob Zombie, performing White Zombie’s 1995 album Astro-Creep 2000. If you’re keeping score, that’s the third of three thirty year-old albums being celebrated on the Day One. As if spending 12 hours in the late summer heat and humidity of the Ohio River Valley wasn’t already making me feel old enough. I enjoy White Zombie just fine, but I never really gave much a shit about Rob Zombie’s solo stuff. Sheila, however, is a White Zombie superfan, and is into quite a bit of Rob Zombie’s solo stuff, so this was her #1 Must-See Set of Day One. It was a lot of fun, and I had a great time singing and shouting along to all the songs from Astro-Creep 2000, followed by “Living Dead Girl” (from Zombie’s first solo album Hellbilly Deluxe), followed by White Zombie’s “Thunderkiss ’65”, followed by “Dragula”, also from Hellbilly Deluxe. A good time was had by all, except for those who do not enjoy fun.

I was unable to find any footage from that night that didn’t have the sound blown all to hell, so here’s a video instead.

The headliner for Day One was none other than (Fuckin) Slayer, whose appearance last year was cancelled due to one of those famous northern Kentucky hurricanes. They kicked off with “South of Heaven”, which was really just a fucking perfect way to start a show, and they never let off the throttle, hitting every studio album except for 1996’s hardcore punk cover album Undisputed Attitude and 1998’s Diabolus in Musica. They also played “Chemical Warfare”, which was just tremendous for me. We watched their set from the elevated viewing area in Top Shelf, as they were playing on Main Stage 1, and we didn’t wanna have to walk anymore than necessary for the rest of the day. I’m too old for actual mosh pits, and as I’ve mentioned, we still had three days to go, but you better believe I banged my head and screamed myself hoarse for the entirety of the set, and there was this one dude up in the elevated viewing area who was losing his goddamn mind. Several times he moshed his way over to me so we could sing along together, and during “War Ensemble” he jumped up from the level below me and threw his arm around my shoulder just in time for us to shout “WAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAR!” together, and it was awesome. On the off chance that dude is reading this, just know that you were a hoot, and experiencing Slayer with you was a real treat.

“A lot of people would be a lot happier if they went to concerts where flames shot out of the stage every now and then.” – Sheila

Speaking of flames shooting out of the stage: biiiig shout-out to Gary Holt. That motherfucker played a 35-minute set with Exodus in the blazing sun, then came back out with Slayer less than six hours later and played for another 90 minutes, surrounded by fire and explosions, and he’s 61 years old.

After Slayer’s set, we filed out of the gates along with everybody else, only to find a sign guiding us inside a building to catch the shuttle back downtown. As we arrived inside the building, we were met by row upon row of security gates and caution tape, filled with a sweaty river of exhausted Slayer fans. The line never stopped moving, but about halfway through it, Sheila had to pee, and the only way to remedy that (other than inside her pants) was to duck under some caution tape and hustle across the building to a restroom. Just one of many less-than-ideal parts of the New and Improved Louder Than Life. I’ll still get to all the pros and cons, but I’ve already gone on for too long, so that’ll have to come later (maybe in a separate post).

Thanks for reading. Be sure to subscribe for updates so you don’t miss my Day Two write-up, which will hopefully be ready for your perusal within a few days.

  1. Highly recommended if you’re in Louisville, Kentucky. ↩︎
  2. People with no sense of urgency came into play a lot on this journey, as they also do in my day-to-day life. See also, “World’s on Heroin” by ALL. ↩︎
  3. The water is not actually free in Top Shelf, but rather is pre-paid, which sure beats paying who knows how much per bottle, or walking 10 minutes to find a refill station. ↩︎
  4. I’ll admit I don’t know Phil Anselmo as a person, but I do have eyes, ears, and the internet. ↩︎
  5. See also R&B singer/abusive-piece-of-shit Chris Brown. ↩︎
  6. The chronically online might refer to them as “S-tier”, but I wouldn’t. ↩︎

I Don’t Care What You Do, Just Do It Faster: A Thing About Louder Than Life 2024 (Day One)

/ Rev. Joel / 5 Comments

Note: this is Part Two of a multi-part series about Louder Than Life 2024. I’m not sure how many parts there’ll be, but it seems like it’ll be three at least. There are supplemental parts also.

When I opened my eyes at 7:30 AM on September 26, 2024, the first thought in my head was “ooh, Louder Than Life starts tomorrow!” If you’ve already read Part Zero (which I do recommend, if only for context)(I know it’s a bit rambly, even for me, but I can’t afford an editor)(plus I don’t want one), you’ll recall that the previous night ended just a bit fuzzily. My next thought was “wait, it’s Thursday, you dingus – Louder Than Life starts today!” And I was right. I am a dingus, and it did start today. Looks like I’m still playing fast and loose with time. Apparently that’s gonna be my new thing.

The reason I opened my eyes at 7:30 AM on September 26, 2024 was because we had an 8:30 reservation at Wild Eggs. One of our LTL traditions is breakfast at the Wild Eggs on Floyd St, and if there’s one thing to remember from Letterkenney, it’s this: you don’t fuck with tradition. Our breakfast was very good, and the service ended up being very good after a somewhat rough start. I recommend Wild Eggs. The one in New Albany is also very good.

Here’s a picture from our walk to Wild Eggs.

“In walks Barbarella, set to stun!” – Clutch

The reason we had an 8:30 reservation at Wild Eggs is because we wanted to get to the festival grounds ASAP after the gates opened so we could see Soul Glo. We ended up running late getting to the shuttle, so we arrived at the entry gates as Soul Glo started playing “Gold Chain Punk (whogonbeatmyass?)”, which I’m pretty sure was their opener, and boy howdy, what a way to kick off a show!

Don’t take my word for it.

I’m bummed that I missed most of it, but the rest of the set was excellent. The energy on stage was high, and the crowd grew steadily while they played.

This is Soul Glo. They are a very good band.

We went over to the Top Shelf VIP section to get some drinks and snacks, and to go up onto the viewing platform to see what it was like before most of the tables were taken up. They added a Skybox this year – basically a second story with another bar – and the view from up there was pretty cool, but I don’t have any pictures from up there until Day Three. Here’s a panoramic photo I took from the main level on Day One.

I’m not sure how visible they are, but the Revolver and Decibel stages are way in the background almost dead center. The Loudmouth Stage is near the left.
Just to give you a bit of scale. The main stages are to the right, obvi.

I’m sorry I said “obvi”.

Anyway, we hung out up there while Finger Eleven played on Main Stage 2, which is the one on the right in those pictures. The main stages used to have proper names as well, but they didn’t do that this year for some reason. The band sounded fine. They were kinda boring to me, but they played both of the hits I remembered from whenever they were hits. Here’s one of them.

I was surprised to learn that this song is from 2003 (definitely assumed 2001), and also that this band is Canadian.

Next stop was the Decibel Stage way back there in that middle circle to post up for Touché Amore, who were my number one Absolutely Cannot Miss Once I’m Inside the Gates band of Day One. We’d actually planned on spending a lot of our time at the Decibel, Revolver, and Loudmouth stages over the course of the weekend, which is not uncommon for us; there’s always a ton of cool shit on the side stages. There are plenty of main stage bands we wanna check out, but the main stage is also where things like Staind happen, and man, what a disappointment that band is.

Anyway, we arrived right before Slothrust took the stage, and they were very good, though I don’t really remember much about them, on account of the fact that Touché Amoré were setting up just to the left of this picture, which is one of the two pictures I took during their set.


Here’s the other one. It’s Touché Amoré soundchecking. I forgot to mention earlier that I saw Jeremy, the vocalist (the guy in the hat and the white t-shirt), watching Soul Glo’s set from the side of the stage earlier, and I thought that was cool. They’re about to wrap up their current tour together. I’m bummed I couldn’t make it to any of the shows.

Rapture was soon to ensue, even if they didn’t play “Rapture”.

Touché Amoré was amazing. The crowd was disappointingly small, but we were into it, and they were playing at exactly the same time as The Warning, and that certainly pulled people away from from the Decibel Stage.

Talk about a motherfucking rollercoaster of emotions! By the end of their all-too-short 30-minute set, I was a hideous blubbering mess. Sheila gave me a tissue, and a security dude ran up and asked me if I was okay, and I nodded and snotted at him, and then Sheila said “he’s okay, he’s just emotionally overwhelmed right now”, and the security guy said “do you want a bottle of water?”, and I nodded and snotted at him, and he handed me a bottle of water, then Sheila said “thank you”, and I snotted at him and said something resembling “thank you”, then we headed back to Top Shelf to relieve our bladders and re-up our snacks and beverages.

It was time this whole time.

A quick aside here: every single interaction I’ve experienced with stage security at Louder Than Life has been positive. They do good and important work, and they do it well.

The next band on our agenda was Brutus, and I don’t remember anything about them, but I must’ve liked them, because in my journal I wrote “Brutus was cool”. Sheila just indicated that Brutus was amazing, and I believe her.

Actually, I just remembered why I don’t remember anything about Brutus: I was way over on the far end of the Reverb Stage so I could be on the rail for Militarie Gun.

Ian dedicated this song to “anyone who’s on drugs or trying to get off drugs”. I wish there’d been that many people watching them at Louder Than Life.

I’m glad I made that decision – Militarie Gun was SO MUCH FUN. They played an exceptionally tight 30-minute set, and the energy was high, and I’m all up in there dancin and singin along, and then they’re done, and I have to high-tail it across the back 40 to the Loudmouth Stage so I can get on the rail for KNEECAP (spoiler alert: I’m also glad I made that decision).

Here’s Militarie Gun soundchecking.
Dig that sweet Melvins shirt!

KNEECAP is a hip-hop trio from West Belfast, Northern Ireland, and they are fucking incredible. They’re one of the bands we learned about through The System, and I’m still bummed I had to miss Bob Vylan to see them, but if their set time hadn’t been changed that morning, I would’ve likely missed at least one song from Militarie Gun (and not gotten my spot on the rail).

While I was booking across the grounds, I spied a dude walking in my direction carrying a “FREE HUGS” sign. At about 10 paces I pointed at him, and he nodded, and we walked up to each other and had a fucking awesome hug. It was the perfect way to bridge the gap between bouncy non-political punk rock songs about the human condition and bouncy political hip-hop songs about the human condition.

KNEECAP blew my goddamn mind. Just a phenomenal performance, and I’m so glad I got to see them. If you like hip-hop at all, I recommend looking into them. Even if you don’t like hip-hop, their story is pretty fascinating, and they also give extremely entertaining interviews. Below is the only footage I could find of them from LTL2K24.

I was on the other end of the stage when this happened.

Here’s the song they were playing in the clip above, if you’re interested.

The clip below is called “Stupid questions Irish people are always asked, answered by KNEECAP”. It’s apparently age-restricted, but I cannot encourage you enough to click the “Watch on YouTube” link, which is also linked in this sentence. It’s a hoot.

Here’s a picture of one of the speakers just to the right of the stage. The cover vibrated off within seconds of KNEECAP’s set beginning. One of the security dudes tried to put back, but it just fell right off again.

“Bass! How low can you go?” – Public Enemy


This picture isn’t very exciting, but you can get a decent look at all three members, and it gives you a good idea how close I was.

l-r: Mo Chara, Móglaí Bap, DJ Próvaí, unknown security dude

For what it’s worth, Sheila says that Bob Vylan’s set was also amazing, and I believe her. Here’s a picture I took when DJ Próvaí came out into the crowd with a microphone at the beginning of “H.O.O.D.”. This picture happens to be the lead-in to the short clip above. I like the way the clouds look.

We didn’t get to see much of PUP, but what we saw was very enjoyable, and I’d like to see them again , but in a smaller venue. Also, side note: there were several bands in attendance this year who stylize their names in all caps (PUP, KNEECAP, HEALTH, etc.). Just something I noticed.

Next, we watched Marky Ramone’s Blitzkrieg plow through 22 Ramones songs and 1 Joey Ramone solo cover in 40 minutes on the Decibel Stage, and I am not exaggerating at all when I tell you it was one of the most fun experiences of my life. The band sounded great, and the crowd was awesome, and we were all havin a regular ol cretin hop.

Meanwhile, King Dingus of Dipshit Island (that’s me) failed to notice that onstage, with Marky Ramone, were none other than the legendary Tommy Victor (Prong) on guitar, and the legendary Craig Setari (Sick of It All) on bass. To be fair, I did have my glasses safely tucked away in a case in the pocket of my cargo shorts, which made seeing anything more than 30 feet ahead of me with any real clarity something of a challenge.

We were a to the left of this angle, and the crowd we were in was much more fun this this buncha duds.

After their set, we started back toward Top Shelf so we could refuel for the walk back to the Revolver Stage for Sum 41, who were allegedly playing their last US festival date ever. We’re not necessarily fans of Sum 41 per se, but we were interested in checking them out, and the fact that they overlapped with Five Finger Death Punch, who are not for us, made it a no-brainer.

As we began the walk, I noticed Sheila was chatting with a couple of dudes who looked kinda like me without a beard (but not so horrific). I slowed my roll so they could catch up, and she went on to tell me that they were from Germany, and introductions were given all around, and they were fuckin awesome dudes. They were gonna buy drinks and head back over to watch Sum 41 also, so we told them we could bring them bourbon from Top Shelf if they wanted to walk over there with us and wait outside. We walked together and laughed together, and then we left them outside Top Shelf, and when we came back out, we couldn’t find them. It was too dark, and the crowd packing in for 5FDP made our search futile. I wish we’d been able to hang with them a little more, but such is the nature of festival attendance. If either of those dudes happen to read this: know that you are awesome.

On our walk to and from Top Shelf, The Offspring were playing on the Main Stage 1, and I was frankly surprised that they sounded so good. I like some of their songs (and Smash is absolutely a staple of my life), but they more or less lost me at “Pretty Fly (for a White Guy)”, and I never really bothered with them again after that, even though that song is pretty much just “Come Out and Play (Keep ‘Em Separated)”, Part 2.

I will begrudgingly admit that I enjoyed myself when they played “Pretty Fly (for a White Guy)”. Life is full of contradictions, and I’m not made of stone.

Sum 41 was blast, by the way. I don’t know that many of their songs, but it almost didn’t matter. I sang and danced and headbanged and air-guitared and smiled, and I’m glad I did it (that seems to be a recurring theme so far this weekend).

I know this song is goofy as shit, but I also know it’s fun as fuck. All hail your simile master.

After their set we headed back to Top Shelf to sit and rest. We heard the last two-and-a-half songs from 5FDP as we walked, and we ordered drinks and found a table and took a load off. Slipknot was the only thing left. This was the third time I’d been at an event where they played, and the first time I was gonna actually see them play. I am by no means what you would call a Slipknot fan, but I generally like the way the sound. I used to own their second album, Iowa, and I liked it well enough. I think I got rid of it in the Big Downsize of 2003, before I moved to Austin, TX, but that’s not important (like the rest of this is).

I also really like “Wait and Bleed” from their eponymous first album, plus I just always assumed that the odds are pretty good that a band consisting of somewhere between seven and fifteen members (I think there are nine) who all dress in terrifying slasher-film-inspired costumes will put on an entertaining show.

I was right. I watched most of their set on the CCTV feed from inside the Top Shelf tent, but I’m okay with that, because I’m 47 years old, and I was tired, and we still had three more days to go. Plus the beginnings of the rain that would make Saturday such a wild ride had started to fall. I did get a second wind (probably more of a sixth or seventh wind, really) when they started to play “Wait and Bleed”, and I jumped the fuck up (ha!) and ran out of the tent and into the crowd, where I danced and raged with strangers in the rain.

This video cuts off before the song is finished, but it’s the best looking and sounding clip I could find on YouTube.

We left shortly after “Wait and Bleed” finished, partially on account of the age and tiredness and the having three more days to go, but also because of the fact that the band, who were touring on the 25th anniversary of their first album, weren’t playing any songs written after 1999. This meant that I’d definitely already heard the only familiar song I was gonna hear for the rest of the night.

The shuttle ride back was apparently uneventful, which I feel like is what you want out of a shuttle ride. Day One was officially in the books, and it was also one for the books.

Thanks for reading, and look out for Day Two, coming soon to an unimportant blog near you.

Are You Ready to Go? ‘Cause I’m Ready to Go: A Thing About Louder Than Life 2024 (Day Zero)

/ Rev. Joel / 9 Comments

I’m finally sitting down to write about Louder Than Life 2024, but I’m not actually gonna talk about the festival itself yet. Naturally, my first instinct is to start with Day One and continue chronologically, but there’s a fair amount of backstory that helps every day of the festival make more sense, plus it’ll be easier to move forward if I cover some if it now, so it seems like starting before the beginning might be a better idea. And I’m aware that “starting before the beginning” may sound like nonsense, but time is clearly an illusion, and this is my blog, after all, so I suppose I’ll start wherever I doggone well feel like starting.


Louder Than Life 2024 officially began on September 28, 2023, approximately one week after Louder Than Life 2023 ended. On the 27th, we received an email telling us we were on the Early Bird List, and that in just two days, we would be among the First People on Earth to get the chance to purchase tickets to a 4-day music festival where we had no idea who would be performing. We were pumped!

Listen: I spent one football season in elementary school making Monday Night Football bets on the bus, and I had a pretty good run overall, even though I knew almost nothing about football. As an adult, I enjoy playing slots occasionally; I even won 200 bucks one time, and that was pretty neat. And one Sunday night several years back, I even tried my hand at blackjack, craps, and roulette when the table minimum was $5 (I did not do well). But if you’d told me even six years ago that I’d ever gamble on something as big as weekend passes to a four-day music festival without knowing a single band in advance, I’d have called you dadgum liar.

The thing is, when Danny Wimmer Presents puts on a festival, you know the lineup is gonna be solid. It’s always a mixed bag, but for every steaming turd like Falling in Reverse or Ghostmane, you get a delicious morsel like Clutch, Suicidal Tendencies, Green Day, Cypress Hill, or Pennywise. Occasionally you’ll get one of those rare French chocolates wrapped with edible gold, like Metallica playing two unique sets on two nights, or one of only three reunion shows of the year by Fuckin Slayer. And even when there are steaming turds on stage, there are other stages to check out. And even if all the other stages have turds steaming on them at the same time (uncommon), there’s other stuff to do, and the people watching is just aces.

Anyway, the next day (9/28) I got another email telling me that extra-special fancy-pants packages were now available, so we took the plunge and splurged on “The Luxury Package”, which – in addition to admission to all four days of the festival, access to the exclusive Angel’s Envy Top Shelf VIP area (which we enjoyed very much in 2023), and 5 nights at the Galt House Hotel (our preferred hotel when in Lousville) – included, and I quote:

  • Downtown shuttle pickup at your hotel: all 4 days
  • Dedicated fast track entry and re-entry
  • Access to Welcome Party
  • Watch a performance from the soundboard
  • $50 Louder Than Life merch voucher
  • Artist-signed festival poster
  • Louder Than Life mini-guitar
  • Commemorative lanyard

End quote.

Considering we were planning to get TSVIP passes, stay at the Galt House, and use the Pegasus Transportation shuttles anyway, it seemed like a big ol no doi for us. Plus we were able to pay it off in installments! I’ll get to most of the perks later, but a couple of them came into play before the fest actually started, and that’s what we’re here to talk about this time (more or less).

A quick aside: Our accommodations were fuckin brilliant. The Galt House is always at least very good, and most times it’s great. The staff is friendly and helpful, the restaurants and bars are great, it’s close to lots of cool restaurants, shops, museums, and live performance venues, and it’s very easily accessible by automobile. I cannot recommend it enough if you’re staying in downtown Louisville. I digress.

Look, I know I said earlier that LTL2K24 officially began on September 28, 2023, but I was being dramatic. For us, it actually began on February 21, 2024, when the full lineup was released. We have a System when the lineup gets released, see? I’ll make a list of all the bands, and on Saturday nights over the next few months, we’ll spend a chunk of time watching videos from all the bands. We’ll usually start with either the newest song or the song with the most plays on YouTube, and we’ll work our way through the lineup over the course of a month or two. When we’ve made it through all four days, we’ll go back through and watch a second video of each band, this time focusing on older songs when possible/as needed. After we’ve finished a second run-through, we’ll go through the whole list once more, this time watching live performances from each band.

The System isn’t perfect, but it’s getting better each year, and it’s helped us discover some really kick-ass bands and artists in previous years, like Ho99o9, Amigo the Devil, Mannequin Pussy, and Gnome, to name a few.

This year I fine tuned The System a bit more. We assigned a letter grade (A-F) for each video, and then a couple of weeks before leaving this year, I went through and made a short list of bands who averaged a B- or higher, double-checked each one on Spotfiy (one C-/D+ band almost made it through – yikes!), and made a playlist with two songs from each band. Then the day before, I mapped out a guideline schedule for each day so we could keep track of who was playing where and when without having to consult the app, thereby draining our phone batteries.

Here’s an example.

This ended up being somewhat handy, but there are always last-minute changes that’ll muck things up, like for instance Jigsaw Youth and KNEECAP‘s times being pushed back after I made this schedule, due to Veil of Maya dropping off the festival on the morning of Day One. And a cursory glance at said schedule will reveal lots of overlapping set times, so we ended up having to make difficult choices, like for instance I had to decide between watching KNEECAP on the Loudmouth Stage and watching Bob Vylan on the Decibel Stage. Spoiler alert: I chose KNEECAP, but that hasn’t happened yet in this timeline, plus I haven’t even actually started talking about Day Zero yet, so I’ll save that for the next post.

Fast-forward to September 13, when I received an email about our Soundboard Experience. Sheila and I had both forgotten about that, so it was a very exciting email to receive. Imagine my dismay when I got down to the important part:

Of all the fuckin bands…
Same, Ralph.

Look: I try not to yuck anybody else’s yums, but Falling in Reverse is easily my least favorite band that I’ve ever heard, that has also played at Louder Than Life. I just do not get the love for that band. I was sad. I responded thusly:

The next day, they responded with this:

I was even sadder. Plus it seemed like they didn’t really understand what I was trying to relate to them even though I thought I’d made it extremely clear and easy to follow, which I just found kind of disappointing. Sheila was concerned that this meant our artist-signed festival poster would also be affiliated with Falling in Reverse, but I soothed her concerns by pointing out that if we did receive a poster with Ronny Radke’s autograph on it, we’d at least be able to get a li’l money from it on ebay. Anyway, I’m getting ahead of myself again; there’s more to the Soundboard Experience, but it’s not Saturday yet.

Let’s move on to Wednesday the 25th, shall we?

I spent the morning getting a few last-minute supplies and gassing up and packing the car while Sheila worked a half-day. We stopped for lunch at Tumbleweed in Floyd’s Knobs, IN, and it was great as always. My “B- or Better” playlist served us well on the drive.

I’m pretty proud of this packing job. Nothing shifted at all.

We checked into the hotel, unpacked, freshened up, and had a drink and a snack at Jockey Silks, the bourbon bar in the hotel. We then made our way toward Tavern on 4th (home of the Official Welcome Party), with a brief detour to the Bluegrass Brewing Company for a pint of their delicious Altbier. We arrived at Tavern on 4th and took our place in line behind a couple we sincerely hoped we wouldn’t find ourselves in close proximity to once we got inside. They were turned away at the door because the guy didn’t realize they each needed a ticket, and therefore only bought one, so everybody ended up winning, except for them.

The Welcome Party promised snacks, and an open bar, so we got a couple of drinks and located the snacks. We were definitely glad we had a snack at the hotel bar, as the only vegetarian food we could locate were some pretzel bites with beer cheese. They were tasty enough, but we were expecting a bit more.


We ended up striking up a conversation with a couple that seemed kinda like us, but a few years older, and they were cool, but all I can really remember about them at this point is that the lady was extremely stoked to see Bob Vylan (as was Sheila), and the guy was wearing a Beastie Boys Check Your Head t-shirt. He actually appeared next to us while the DJ was playing a Beastie Boys song (way too loud, I might add). I’m aware of the irony of a dude who loves live music as much as I do being such a cantankerous old curmudgeon about loud music in other situations, but I can’t be alone in thinking that music shouldn’t be so fuckin loud when people are in a situation where talking is encouraged. Also, I’m very quickly becoming a cantankerous old curmudgeon, so it’s only natural.

I’m not all doom and gloom though, see?

We also hung out with this guy for a while. He was cool, and we never saw him again. These are the days of our lives.

This is a little blurry, but so were we.

The rest of the night is less clear, on account of the open bar, the lack of vegetarian food, and the anticipation. I know we had fun, and I know we made it back to the hotel safely. We woke up the next day ready for an adventure, and we were not disappointed, other than having to choose between KNEECAP and Bob Vylan, which I mentioned previously, but again, that’s in the future, at least relative to this story, which ends here.

Speaking of the future, Part Two of this multi-part concoction will be here (relatively) soon. It’ll cover Day One and possibly Day Two, if I can manage to keep myself on something resembling a track. Until then, go on and git. And thanks for reading.

Plant-Based Adventures in the Derby City: A Sort of Review of Louder Than Life 2021, Part 2

/ Rev. Joel / 4 Comments

Welcome to the “long awaited” second and almost-certainly final installment of my review of the 2021 Louder Than Life music festival in Louisville, KY. If you haven’t read Part 1 yet, you should start there, then come back here and continue. I’ll wait…

Okay, welclome back. As I mentioned in Part 1, Day Three was always the weakest day of the lineup. Nine Inch Nails was slated to headline, and I was excited about that, as I’ve never seen them live, and I’ve heard nothing but good things about their live show from people whose opinions I trust, Mrs. Circlepit included (she’s seen them thrice). Snoop Dogg was scheduled to offer direct support, and I was obviously into that, because regardless of how I might present myself (both in my writing and in my day-to-day life), I do enjoy having fun. Several other artists and bands ended up cancelling between the lineup announcement and the beginning of the festival, and I’m pretty sure the largest percentage of them were scheduled to perform on Saturday.

So anyway, NIN and Snoop were the only two we were particularly stoked to see, and both of them cancelled. NIN was replaced with Disturbed, which is fine, but not really for me (and is certainly not a proper replacement for Nine Inch Nails), and Snoop was replaced by Machine Gun Kelly, who had previously been scheduled to perform immediately before Snoop. MGK was replaced with something I didn’t care about, although I probably would’ve liked it more than I would’ve liked MGK, but long story short, we decided not to attend on Saturday, because the only band we were interested in seeing was Suicidal Tendencies, and quite frankly it just seemed like a lot of hassle to ride the shuttle to the festival grounds, stand in line to get in the gate, walk all the way across the festival grounds to the second stage to watch ST play for 30-40 minutes, walk all the way back across the festival grounds to the shuttle, then ride the shuttle back to the hotel. I’ve seen ST live a few times and they put on a great show, but I’m a middle-aged man, and I was tired.

We started our day with a vague plan that did, in fact, include a shuttle ride to the festival to watch Suicidal Tendencies. We took a white-knuckle drive to the Highlands to eat lunch at Havana Rumba, an absolutely kickass Cuban restaurant owned and operated by a very nice family, followed by a mostly much-less-stressful drive to visit Mrs. Circlepit’s grandma and aunt, followed by a white-knuckle drive back through the Highlands (strictly to avoid festival traffic on I-65, which is a shitty and terrifying drive on the very best day) to the hotel. We returned, the missus decided to take a nap (Havana Rumba will not let you leave hungry), and I sat on the couch to read. Next thing I know she’s waking me up to tell me it’s 6:00, which means we have less than 40 minutes to get our shit together and catch the shuttle before ST takes the stage, which means that without a series of small miracles, we will miss at least a few minutes of ST’s set, which means we decided to stay downtown on Saturday.

We walked a few blocks east to Merle’s Whiskey Kitchen, where we were given a table outside, which allowed for pretty magnificent people-watching (lots of varied events in the city that weekend). We ordered drinks and an appetizer, and perused the vegetarian options (mostly listed under a section titled “Plant Based”), among which was a sandwich called the “Fake A$$ Chicken Sandwich”, which is an objectively dumb name, but which sounded like it could be a pretty good sandwich. The menu describes it thusly: “southern fried vegan chicken, crispy vinegar slaw, vegan garlic aioli, pickles on a kaiser bun”. I asked our server what the “chicken” is made of, and she replied, “it’s plant based.” I said, “I know that, but I was wondering what it’s made of.” The missus added, “like, is it tofu, or seitan, or…” and the server said, “I’m not sure, but I’ll go find out.” She returns very quickly and said “my manager said it’s plant based, but it doesn’t contain any soy”. “I was just curious about what it’s actually made of,” I replied.

That determined and almost-certainly underpaid server, god bless her, said, “I’ll go ask the kitchen. I just asked the front-of-house manager the first time.” A full 4-5 minutes passed before she came back outside. Her face did not indicate good news. “I’m really sorry, but all any of them will tell me is that it’s plant based.” I tried my very best to maintain my cool (and was successful, I think), and said, “That really isn’t a good or proper answer to my question, but it’s not that big of a deal, I’ll just get something else.” The server said “I know, I’m sorry, they just kept saying ‘it’s plant based'”. The missus then said “do you know if it’s made in-house, or if it’s something you buy pre-made?” She said, “I know we don’t make it in-house, and to be honest, I’ve heard people say it’s kind of bland and not really worth the price.” “That’s perfect,” I replied, “I’ll have one of each taco instead. I’m really sorry for the hassle.”

The tacos were great, as was everything else (the service included – we tipped her very well), and I’d go back in heartbeat, but the first thing I’ll always think of whenever I think of that place is that every dipshit working in the kitchen that night thinks both that server and I are complete idiots, because we can’t seem to understand the words “plant based”. That’s enough of Day Three.

Day Four was a big’un. Lots of bands we were interested in checking out, both old and new. Metallica was headlining again (rumors abound that they were gonna play “The Black Album” in its entirety), and Judas Priest, Pennywise, The HU, Ayron Jones, Badflower, Sabaton, and Fozzy were all on the Sunday lineup as well. We got off the shuttle as Ayron Jones began his set, and thankfully the lines moved quickly thought the gates, so we got to actually see the majority of his set, which sounded great, and was delivered with a lot of energy. Fozzy was next on our agenda, but they weren’t really a necessity so much as a performance I just wanted to check out, since I had the opportunity to do so. I’ve been a fan of professional wrestling for most of my life, and Chris Jericho was always an entertaining wrestler, so I figured I owed it to myself to finally check out his band, given that all I had to do was walk maybe 50 yards from where we stood for Ayron Jones.

The verdict, re: Fozzy? Entertaining stage presence, enjoyable songs, but nothing special. Regarding the band, Mrs. Circlepit said “it looks like Chris Jericho walked into a Hot Topic and said ‘I’m starting a band, and we’ll probably play a lot of hard rock and metal festivals, who’s in?'” That was as apt a description as I could’ve mustered. I joked that they could call themselves Chris Jericho and the Rock ‘n’ Roll Stereotypes. There was the Guy Who Could’ve Been in a 90’s Pop Punk Band (with Ska Tendencies) on either bass or guitar (I can’t remember which), the Guy Who Could’ve Been in Creed on guitar, the Guy Who Could’ve Been in Some Band Like Buckcherry on either guitar or bass, and the Guy Who Could’ve Been in a New Wave Band on drums, all fronted by one of the most entertaining men to ever hold a microphone in a wrestling ring, The Man of 1,004 Holds himself, Chris Jericho. I’ll definitely watch them again if they’re at a festival I’m attending, but only if their set doesn’t conflict with another band that I’d rather see.

Speaking of bands I’d rather see, The HU were up next on the other main stage (I’ve forgotten which was which), so we made our way over there and promptly had our minds blown by their absolutely unique mix of Mongolian folk music and thick-ass metal grooves. Seriously, if you get a chance to see The HU live, do not miss it. They were fantastic.

Seriously, holy SHIT!

Badflower was next on the other main stage, and they were very good. We made it a point to check out several of the bands we’d never heard of in the weeks and months leading up to the festival, and Badflower was one of the bands that piqued our interest. They’re a bit melodramatic, and they definitely cater to a younger audience, but I enjoyed them, and I’m pretty sure if I was 20 years younger, I’d be a legitmate fan. At one point, their singer asked the crowd how they were doing, or some such trope, and there were some cheers and whatnot, then he said to a guy (presumably) in the audience, “who said ‘fuck you’? Did you mean that? Jesus Fucking Christ, that’s so mean”, and I thought that was pretty funny. Anyhoo, as they finished up their set, we walked back over the other main stage to catch Pennywise.

“What’s up, Louder Than Life? We’re Pennywise, and we’re already drunk. There’s no hope for us.” So said Pennywise frontman Jim Lindberg, kicking off a raucous, super high-energy 40-ish minute set filled with classics and funny stage banter and a cover of the Beastie Boys’ classic “(You Gotta) Fight for Your Right (to Party)”, as chosen by the crowd (the other option was a Nirvana cover, probably “Territorial Pissings” based on past setlists). Pennywise was an important part of my life when I was in my early 20’s, and I’d seen them twice before (both times on the Warped Tour), but this set was the most I’ve ever enjoyed them. The band was obviously having fun, the crowd around me was having a blast, and The HU seemed to be thrilled to join Pennywise on stage for perennial show closer/tear-causer “Bro Hymn”.

This is not my footage.

Seether and Breaking Benjamin were next on the main stages, and not for us, so we got some fuckin delicious iced lattes and checked out Sabaton, who were headlining the second stage. They were tight as hell and super entertaining, and I’d definitely check them out again. We followed our iced lattes with dinner from a food vendor called Tickle Pickle (based out of Cincinnatti, OH). It was the best food I’ve ever had in a festival or concert environment. I got the “Pearl Jam” burger (jalapeno jam, caramelized onions, tomato, and goat cheese) with an Impossible patty, and the missus got “God’s Mac and Cheese”, which was some dope-ass mac-n-cheese topped with crushed up Grippo’s BBQ chips. I’ll definitely check them out next time I’m in Cincinnatti.

Judas Priest took the stage and rained molten metal all over everyone. Rob Halford fucking nailed those high notes, and the band was tight as tourniqet (to steal a line from Pink Floyd). Rob moved around on stage a bit slower than he used to, but he was moving faster than I do when I wake up the morning, and he’s got almost 30 years on me. Speaking of dudes in their 40’s, you may have heard about Priest guitarist Richie Faulkner (at 41 years old, the youngest member of the band by at least 10 years) coming very close to death on stage. I can say with full confidence that Richie Faulkner was the only person in attendance that night who had any idea that Richie Faulkner was in any kind of pain. Watch this footage and have your mind blown as you realize that Richie Faulkner’s chest cavity is filling up with blood while he absolutely shreds his “Painkiller” solo…

That’s him in the thumbnail there, in case you don’t already know. This is also not my footage.

Earlier in the evening, a visibly excited Kirk Hammet joined the band on stage for a ripping version of “The Green Manalishi (With the Two-Pronged Crown)”.

Once again, not my footage.

And speaking of Kirk Hammet, Metallica followed the mighty Priest with aplomb, and kicked off their second headlining set with a great rendition of “Hardwired” from their most recent album, the pretty good Hardwired…to Self-Destruct. “The Four Horsemen” and “Welcome Home (Sanitarium)” were dope, and then a very early-90’s-MTV-production-style video about the band’s juggernaut album in a year chock-full of juggernaut albums played on the screens, leading directly into the band performing 1991’s Metallica (a.k.a. “The Black Album”) in its entirety, but from back to front, which was a fun twist on the album, and had the added effect of helping us not feel weird about beginning our journey toward the exit (via the shitters, which were only used for peeing, because after 4 days, they nasty) toward the end of the album. I mean, “Enter Sandman” and “Sad But True” are fuckin cool songs, but I didn’t need to pay close attention to them at that point, and the stream of people who seemed to have the same idea as us was pretty sizeable.

We stood nearer the gate and watched them close out their set with shit-hot versions of “Blackened” and “Creeping Death” (it was the first time they’ve ever closed a show with “Creeping Death”, but it seems like it was created for the task). While “Creeping Death” was in full swing, a couple of dudes were walking past us toward the exit when one of them fell to his knees and started to clutch his chest. Mrs. Circlepit sprang into action to offer assistance, but the man assured her he was just having an acid reflux flareup. She offered him some Tums from her purse and he accepted, standing up almost immediately upon swallowing and indicating that he felt much better. He then asked us if we’d like come to his buddy’s house and party with them. He lived real close by, apparently.

We politely declined, and made our way to the entirely-too-hot, far-too-crowded, way-too-intoxicated shuttle back to the hotel and very quickly fell asleep. Our adventure was over, and like the last time, I was filled with a strange mix of relief and sadness. The Missus said the next day that she wasn’t sure she could do that ever again unless we were to spring for VIP tickets, and like last time, we bought tickets shortly thereafter, as soon as I confirmed that I could take that time off work again.

We won’t know who’s playing for another few months, but based on past lineups, I can’t imagine there won’t be at least one headliner we’ll wanna see (probably at least two), and they always stack the rest of the lineup with at least three or four kickass bands/artists (usually more), and the people watching is always entertaining, plus this time, we’ll have access to a dedicated merchandise booth (which will only take 30 mintues instead of 45 minutes), shade (where dickheads will still prop their feet up on a chair and put their backpack on another chair) and air-conditioned restrooms (that a bunch of dumbfucks will no doubt still piss all over).

Should be a great time, and I’m sure I’ll relate the experience here (or somewhere, anyway), but hopefully I’ll get back to this at least a few times before then. Work is finally getting to a point where I can be places other than there sometimes, and that’s neat. At this rate, if people would stop fucking staring at us while they wait for their food, start complying with the local mask mandate/our policy without being little bitches about it, and stop standing in a cluster at the end of the bar where they block the servers, food runners, and bussers, I might even stop vaguely wishing for a quick and merciful death for 6-10 hours a day.

I’m only kidding, it’s no more than 2, maybe 2-1/2 hours most days. It’s called “the rush”.

Oh! I almost forgot: I mentioned in Part 1 that there would be “more on Island Noodles later”, and wouldn’t want anyone to think I’m a goddamn liar. At some point early on Day 4, I noticed that the line for Island Noodles only had like 15 people in it, so I queued up and waited in gleeful anticipation to try this life-changing food. Here’s my official “hot take” on Island Noodles: it was thoroughly okay. The noodles were cooked well, the vegetables were fresh and crispy, and the sauce was salty but tasty, and it was definitely the healthiest food I’ve ever eaten at a non-food related festival, but I just can’t imagine anything living up to the hype I’ve seen about them on LTL-related social media. I’d buy it again, but I wouldn’t stand in one of the typical 40-deep lines to wait for it.

Thanks for reading. If you liked what you read, why not tell a friend? If you didn’t like what you read, I dunno, thanks for giving it a shot, I guess? Maybe you’ll like something else I’ve written. Maybe not. Until next time, remember to keep one foot in the gutter and one fist in the gold.

I Couldn’t Think of a Clever Title: A Sort of Review of Louder Than Life 2021, Part 1

/ Rev. Joel / 4 Comments

I started writing this last Tuesday (9/28), the day after we got home from LTL, then I worked every day since, until today. I decided to go ahead and publish this part, which covers the first two days, and then finish up another time, so that I’m at least getting something out there. I’ll probably finish it next week, but we’ll see – I can be very lazy. Enjoy! Y’know…if you want.

Louder Than Life 2021 is in the books, and I am very sad/glad it’s over. Let’s back up a bit, though, and start from the beginning(ish)…

In the olden times (April 2019), Mrs. Circlepit told me that if Guns ‘n’ Roses were coming anywhere near us on their Not in This Lifetime tour, she’d like to try to attend. Her 40th birthday was coming up later that year, and we’d already skipped out on the first leg of the tour, and we were both experiencing some regret from the decision. Less than a week later, G’n’R was announced as the Saturday headliner at Louder Than Life, so we snapped up tickets immediately. The day was later announced to include Ice Cube, Suicidal Tendencies, Melvins, Anti-Flag, Andrew W.K., Red Kross, Dropkick Murphys, and Stone Temple Pilots (with their Scott Weiland look-and-sound-alike), along with some bands we’d never heard/heard of. Seemed like a no-brainer. We ended up not getting to see Melvins (they played at the same time as Ice Cube, and Ice Cube (with WC!) (of WC and the Maad Circle!) was definitely more of a “once in a lifetime” kinda thing), and we missed Red Kross (I forget why), but everything we did see was great, and the people-watching…

I’ll back up a bit further now: we’d planned on getting single-day tickets in 2018 for the Sunday lineup, which included Nine Inch Nails, Clutch, Ice Cube, Deftones, Primus, Billy Idol, The Sword, and Monster Magnet, along with some other bands we’d never heard/heard of. That also seemed like a no-brainer, but then one week prior to the show, the entire festival was cancelled due to flooding. The team at Danny Wimmer Presents went to work securing a location that could not be completely covered by the Ohio River for the 2019 fest, and now they have a dedicated space at the fairgrounds/expo center, adjacent to Kentucky Kingdom amusement park, right over there near the airport. If this space is ever completely covered by the Ohio River, we’ve got much bigger problems than a cancelled music festival.

Anyway, back to 2019: we got our tickets, and we had a very good time, but with the venue being newly created (along with a miserable dry spell/heat wave), the day was hotter than Hades (if I remember correctly, the temperature topped out at something like 180 billion degress, but the sun might have damaged my brain, so I could be off a bit), and every time a mosh pit broke out, a mini Dust Bowl would immediately spring to life and engulf the crowd. By the end of the night, when Guns ‘n’ Roses finally went on (a full hour late, naturally), we were so exhausted and dehydrated that we just sat down on the gravel and tried not to pass out until we couldn’t stand it any longer. We made our way to the Uber/Lyft pickup area while the band played “Paradise City”, paid 30-40 bucks for a ride to our hotel less than 2 miles away, and passed out. The next day, we agreed that while we had fun, we were gettin too old for that shit, and that was that.

Me too, Roger…me too.

About a month later, Metallica was announced as the Friday and Sunday headliner for 2020, and we bought weekend passes as soon as they went on sale. Not long after, they announced that Metallica wouldn’t be able to perform, as the show dates conflicted with some rehab commitments that James had. A short time later, a fourth day was added to the festival, with Metallica then announced as the Thursday headliner, with all weekend passes to include Thursday admission. We were already on a rollercoaster, but we figured we were strapped in safely, so we’d just go along with the ride. We of course had no idea how long and steep those hills were gonna end up being.

The pandemic (or “plandemic” if you’re an idiot) obviously shut down last year’s fest, but we were given the option to roll our passes over to this year, which we did, scoring a pretty cool free t-shirt in the process. When the lineup was announced for this year, it was a real mixed bag. Metallica headlining on Friday and Sunday with direct support from Jane’s Addiction and Judas Priest respectively (fuck yes!), Nine Inch Nails headlining Saturday with direct support from Snoop Dogg (my god, yes!), and Korn headlining Thursday, with direct support from Staind (a polite no thank you from us, especially re: Staind), along with a whole lot of other stuff (some good, some bad, some we’d never heard of), much of which I will get to in due time.

A few weeks ago, Nine Inch Nails cancelled all their 2021 tour dates, citing COVID concerns, and they were replaced with Disturbed, which I’d rather hear/see than Staind, but which I’m still not interested in. Someone else on the Saturday lineup cancelled (I can’t remember who anymore) and they were replaced with Suicidal Tendencies, which was pretty fuckin awesome news for me. I’ve been a fan of ST for years, and their performance at LTL 2019 was one of the highlights for me. At this point, ST and Snoop Dogg were the only reasons I was interested in going on Saturday, although I wouldn’t have minded seeing Ice Nine Kills, mostly just because of the horror movie stuff they fuck with. Last week, Snoop cancelled, leaving a 40-minute set from Suicidal Tendencies as the only real reason I had for entering the festival grounds on Saturday. But I’m getting ahead of myself.

We arrived in town on Wednesday afternoon, checked into our suite at the Galt House (this trip was a celebration of our 10th and 11th wedding anniversaries, plus 2 birthdays apiece on account of 2020, so we decided to stay in comfort), and tried to relax and rest up. We weren’t planning on getting there too early on Thursday, but we’re old, and we knew we needed to be prepared in order to enjoy ourselves to the maximum possible extent.

Thursday afternoon, we got on the shuttle to the park ($40 bucks for a weekend pass with unlimited rides to and from our hotel vs. $40+ for an Uber or a Lyft per trip (not to mention the wait time) or $20/day to park and deal with that bullshit traffic – thanks, Pegasus Transportation!) along with one other festival-goer who flew up from Puerto Rico for the weekend, and were dropped off pretty much at the festival gates by a guy who may as well have been a cartoon character (imagine Ed from City Slickers as a cartoon). Fun side story: we were all talking about the many events going on in town that weekend, as well as about events we and the other passenger had either missed or had rescheduled on us due to COVID, and talk turned to Motley Crue, at which time the Cartoon Bruno Kirby told us that Motley Crue were staying at the Galt House, and that Pegasus was transporting each of them to the shows in separate cars. “Are they playing at the Yum! Center?” asked the missus, all of us genuinely confused as to how we hadn’t heard about Motley Crue playing the same two nights as Metallica in Louisville, KY. At that moment, I realized he was almost certainly mixing up the two bands, and then he responded “No, at this festival, same as youse are goin to,” at which point I whispered to the missus “He thinks Metallica is Motley Crue,” and the three of us just said “huh”, and let that conversation die quietly. It did provide us with a pretty steady source of laughter the rest of the weekend, imagining that guy talking to Lars as if he were Tommy Lee, maybe asking him about his sex tape, or how he feels about Machine Gun Kelly portraying him in a movie about his band, or maybe even just telling him how much he loves “Girls, Girls, Girls”.

Anyway, we arrived on the grounds at around 3:00, got the lay of the land, then got a beer and found a shady spot under the Jack Daniels tent and checked out Sevendust on the main stage. Sevendust isn’t really her thing, and I don’t really know their music, but I’ve enjoyed them well enough when I’ve heard them, and I knew that Lajon has a good singing voice, and I wanted to hear it live. Turns out his voice sounds even better live, though the only Sevendust song I know, still, is their cover of “I Am (I’m Me)” from the album Twisted Forever – A Tribute to the Legendary Twisted Sister. It’s a great song, a very good cover, and cool album.

Don’t take my word for it…

I digress. After Sevendust we walked around and listened to a little bit of Wage War’s set and partook in some people watching, not surprised at the lack of face coverings, and not surprised (but seriously fucking annoyed) by the amount of cigarette and weed smoke being blown directly into faces and crowds by inconsiderate jackasses. Even in non-pandemic times, if you don’t at least try to blow your smoke up into the air when you’re in a crowd of strangers, you’re an asshole. The buzz on the LTL facebook groups is that the food from Island Noodles will change your life (I was half-expecting a handjob from all the hype I’d heard and read, which did not happen; there’ll be more on Island Noodles later), but the line was way too long for me to wanna stand in it, so we had some okay pizza from Pie Baby Wood-Fired Pizza instead (it was as good as thin, floppy pizza can be) while we waited for Anthrax to start. This was my 5th or 6th time seeing Anthrax live, but my first time in a crowd this big, and I was excited about that, but I also was expecting their abbreviated set to be more or less a “greatest hits”-type thing, and they delivered exactly what I expected, while sounding fan-fucking-tastic doing it, which I also expected. I was hoping for collaboration with Cypress Hill on an epic cover of “Bring the Noise” (a hope brought on solely by my imagination), but alas, that did not happen.

Beartooth played after Anthrax for some reaon and they were enjoyable enough, then Cypress Hill (featuring DJ Lord from Public Enemy!) delivered a 100% flawless one-hour set absolutely stacked with classics, closed out by an incredibly high-energy cover of “Jump Around”, the whole thing covered by cloud of smoke thicker than I’ve ever seen at a live show. Sen Dog introduced B-Real as “the highest man in the world”, and I feel like that might be true. A lady who looked like an elementary school teacher I know was dancing and rapping along with “(Rock) Superstar” like her life depended on it, and that was awesome to see. After Cypress Hill, we hit the portajohns and headed for our shuttle, our curiosity regarding Korn overshadowed by our desire to hear and see as little of Staind as possible. Seriously, Aaron Lewis is a jabroni, and at two-and-a-half songs on our way out of the venue, I heard plenty. Our early departure rewarded us with a shuttle all to ourselves, a luxury we would not be afforded again.

Friday had more stuff we wanted to see/hear, but we still didn’t have to get there too early, so Mrs. Circlepit treated herself to a manicure at the hotel while I read a book and listened to some Killswitch Engage songs. They’re a band I’ve never really bothered to give a chance, but my buddy D-Lo is a megafan, so I felt like I had to check them out, and I wanted to familiarize myself with a bit with their discography before hearing them live.

Our shuttle ride in was dumb. Aside from us and one other relatively quiet guy there were Five Loud Dipshits who kept yelling about how good Staind was the night before and this Insufferable Hipster Couple who took every possible opportunity to let us all know that they live in Chicago, as if anyone could have possibly given a shit. At one point, Girl Hipster said “Is anyone actually excited about Jane’s Addiction?” at which point every person on the shuttle (except for the driver) raised their hand (this was the only point during this particular trip where I did not want to smack the dumb faces off all those Loud Dipshits, especially the one sitting directly behind me), and it was the only time Girl Hipster was speechless the entire ride.

Regarding the matter of Killswitch Engage, the jury (i.e., me) has reached its verdict, and it is unanimous. “What say you”, you ask? I say I like their songs well enough, they sound fuckin great live, they bring a fantastic amount of energy to the stage, and if I was 10-15 years younger, they’d almost certainly be one of my favorite bands. Their lyrics are insightful and inspirational, and their riffs are heavy as shit, but I already have a stable of bands I turn to when I need a lyrical pick-me-up and/or to be bludgeoned into submission by riffs. I still wouldn’t necessarily call myself a fan, but I like them more than I did that morning, and I’d definitely check them out live again.

I decided to hop in the merch line during Gojira’s set, knowing it would take a while to get to the front, but also knowing that I’d be able to hear them loud and clear while I waited, and assuming I’d be able to catch at least a few minutes of the end of their set. I naturally chose the slowest-moving line, and at one point the two women at the front were taking so long I wondered if they were trying to buy the entire goddamn festival. “Just pick a fuckin shirt and get out of the way, for fuck sake!” I shouted, and everyone around me agreed, even the drunk 20-year-old in front of me who seemed mere seconds away from vomiting and passing out. They finally finished their transaction and talked a lot of shit while they exited the area, and I finally got my Anthrax and Judas Priest shirts about halfway through Rise Against’s second song.

Gojira sounded great, by the way. So much heaviness coming off that stage. Rise Against is another one of D-Lo’s favorites, but aside from a song or two, my familiarity begins and ends with their first album (2001’s The Unraveling), when they were pretty much 88 Fingers Louie with a different singer. They did not play any songs from The Unraveling, and I was not surprised by that. They sounded amazing live, but I’d have absolutely shit my pants if they’d played “Six Ways ‘Til Sunday”.

It almost makes me shit my pants when it comes on a mix I’ve made. I can’t even imagine hearing it live.

Rise Against finished, and Jane’s Addiction came out to the opening strains of “Up the Beach”, and we made our way down to the pit area (where we were essentially the only masked people, although if all the shitheads blowing smoke in our faces on Thursday didn’t give us COVID, probably nothing ever will), and Jane’s Addiction blew our minds apart. Such a weird, fun, magical, heavy experience. Tears flowed during “Jane Says”, my head banged during “Mountain Song”, my ass danced itself nearly clean off during “Stop”, and my mouth gaped during “Ted, Just Admit It…” The band was fucking brilliant, and Perry’s banter was fucking hilarious, and we were surprised to learn the next day that a loooooot of people in that crowd were offended and/or disgusted and/or completely flummoxed by “how much of magical weirdo Perry Farrell is”, to quote my better half.

How do you not love that guy?

The crowd rippled with anticipation waiting for Metallica’s first set to begin. Finally, after what seemed like minutes, the house music faded out, and “It’s a Long Way to the Top (If You Wanna Rock and Roll)” by AC/DC blared over the PA, followed by Ennio Morricone’s “The Ecstasy of Gold” from The Good, the Bad, and the Ugly, followed by Metallica, blasting out as furious a version of “Whiplash” as they could possibly manage at this point in their lives and careers. They continued to tear through a varied (and very solid) set spanning almost their entire LP discography (minus St. Anger, Load, and Metallica (a.k.a. “The Black Album”), though the latter will be touched upon later. It was all killer and no filler, even including the songs I don’t know all that well, like “No Leaf Clover”, and the songs from Hardwired…to Self-Destruct, and the songs I know better but don’t care that much about, like “Fuel”. What I’ve learned in my now three times seeing Metallica live is that they even make the songs I don’t care about sound badass live.

“You wanna get some whiskey and make some bad decisions?” asked the missus, and I advised her that I did. “Moth Into Flame” caused me to mosh like Scott Ian as we made our way toward the Blackened Whiskey tent, and I was reminded that I had an open water bottle in my pocket as water spilled all over my leg and shorts, but my good time was undeterred. We got some whiskey and sat down in a significantly less-crowded area (sitting for only the second time that day, in fact) and enjoyed the rest of the show from the comfort of some really uncomfortable folding chairs. While there, I saw a guy with a hand truck banging his head and singing along while he delivered some cases of soda to a food tent. On his way back, he left his hand truck in the field and proceeded to rock his balls off while the band played their hit “Whiskey in the Jar” from 1998’s Garage, Inc. covers album.

Go man, go!

After kicking off their encore with “Battery”, James said in a very sincere-sounding voice, “Louisville, I have something very important to tell you..GIMME FUEL GIMME FIRE GIMME THAT WHICH I DESIIIIIIIRE, OOH!“, and then they played “Fuel”, and I’ve been giggling about that for a week. We headed toward the gates as “Seek & Destroy” began, and boarded the shuttle for the ride back.

The “shuttle” this time actually ended up being a full-sized passenger bus filled all the way up, and included the Insufferable Hipsters from the ride in. Pretty lame, and decidedly less comfortable than the smaller shuttles we’d been on up to that point, but still better than paying surge prices for an Uber, or having the fat Loud Dipshit behind me again.

We went to bed exhausted but happy, which is the best way to go to bed. Saturday – with its razor-thin lineup – was nigh, and Sunday – with its relatively stacked lineup from open-to-close – was…slightly more nigh. But those’ll have to wait until next time, because I have other shit to do. Thanks for reading. If you enjoyed it…

I’ll leave you with a few more pictures from the festival grounds. Be sure to check back for the “exciting” conclusion, coming soon(ish) to a toilet near you!

Old-Ass Mixtape Reviews, Volume 3: Late 90s Mix (Save): Side B

/ Rev. Joel / 2 Comments

Welcome to the second half (Side B, if you will) of my riveting journey through time itself, in the form of a 20-ish year old mixtape. If you missed it, check out “Side A” here, and then check out Volume 1 here. If you’re too lazy/busy to click through those links, the gist is that I’m listening to this old-ass mixtape for the first time in who knows how long (it’s certainly been at least 5 years, but probably closer to 10), I have no idea what’s on it, and I’m sharing the results with you, gentle reader. Together we’ll have a laugh or two, and maybe learn a little bit about what makes ol’ Rev. Joel tick, aside from tacos, coffee, John Carpenter movies, and Tom & Jerry cartoons. Let’s get started, whadda ya say?

“Side B”

1. Bubbling through the mud and muck resulting from my short-sighted failure/possible inability to use Dolby Noise Reduction is “Bored” by Deftones. You may recall that Side A started off with “7 Words”, also by Deftones. Both songs are from their auspicious 1995 (!) debut album Adrenaline, which is not as good as the albums that followed it, but is still a solid album. The foundation for what this band became was definitely in place on their debut.

2. “Bored” is followed by what seems at first be silence, but is in fact part of “Kinky Sex Makes the World Go ‘Round” by Dead Kennedys, dubbed over into near oblivion (as mentioned in Volume 2, I was real into DK at this point in my life). It sounds kinda spooky, and it goes on for a surprisingly long amount of time (not unlike the song itself), but Mitchell, Indiana’s own Circle of Illusions is up now, and holy smokes, this was a good band! I’ll write more about them another time. The song is called “Flow”, by the way.

3. Another track, another Circle of Illusions song, this one “Without Time”. Speaking of time, this band sounds very much of its time, which is to say 1997. I don’t mean that in a bad way at all.

4. Ahmahgawd, it’s “Us vs. Them” by New York Hardcore legends Sick of it All! This song is from their 1997 nutkicker Built to Last. I was a real sucker for any song with a bunch of gang vocals back then (it’s the same era as my discovery of the Misfits, and punk rock in general). Gang Vocals are still one of my primary musical weaknesses, but not as much as jangly guitar, sick riffs, and unconventional vocalists.

5. I suspected “Busted”, from the same album, might be next, and I’m glad my suspicions were correct. This is a superfast moshpit-inducer with lead vocals by bassist/kickboxing champion/NYHC legend Craig Setari. Sick of it All kick an unbelievable amount of ass, and I really hope I get to see them live again someday. “You wanna take, take, take ’til you have it all!/CAN’T TRUST IT!/Your busted ass!” Indeed.

6. Up next is “Long Whip/Big America” by Corrosion of Comformity, from their 1996 album Wiseblood, which I used to think was just okay, but which grows on me as I grow older (seeing COC live a couple of times in the past few years helped me appreciate the Pepper Keenan-fronted version of the band a lot more). This song is fuckin great. Back around the time when this mixtape was made, my buddy Travis would sometimes sing “maybe I’m wrong, but I think my dick is too long” to the tune of this chorus, and it always cracked me up. In fact, it still does. I apologize for nothing!

7. I definitely did not expect “Walk of Life” by Dire Straits to be here, but when I think about it, I do remember a period of time where I was really into this song and “Why Worry Now”, both from their bajillion-selling Brothers in Arms. Travis and I used to spend a lot of time driving around listening to music during this period, and he was a straight up Dire Straits fan. Like to the point where he even bought their other albums! I wil be flabbergasted if “Why Worry Now” isn’t next.

8. Consider me flabbergasted, although I’d be willing to bet that it used to be on here and I just taped “Spiderman”, from Greatest Hits Live by the Ramones, over it. I don’t listen to the Ramones nearly enough anymore. They really were just one of the very best goddamn bands that ever existed.

9. In the ultra-brief time that I wrote the thing about the Ramones, the song ended and there was like 2 seconds of very loud silence (curse you, lack of Dolby Noise Reduction!) followed by approximately 1.5 seconds of a “Distorted and Very Out-of-Tune Guitar Chord” that was certainly played by Yours Truly. I had to pause the tape and collect myself for what might be next, based on said out-of-tune chord. I also had to pee and get more coffee, but you don’t need to hear my entire life story. Not when there are old-ass mixtapes to review.

This song has nothing to do with Late 90’s Mix (save), but Unleashed fucking rules, and we’re moving ONWARD!

10. Following that groundbreaking dissonant blast of musical genius (yeah, that’s the ticket!) is another 1-3 seconds of silence, followed by Yours Truly again, this time playing “The Same Note Over and Over and Over Again” on my old Les Paul copy. Listening to this now reminds me why I must remain vigilant against any thoughts I ever entertain about getting another guitar, or another bass, or a banjo, or whatever other instrument I think I want. I have no interest in learning how to play an instrument, I just wanna skip the learning process and know how to play. My lack of patience would’ve made me easy pickins for the Dark Side of the Force. It likely still would.

“The Same Note Over and Over and Over Again” gave way to what is, as of right now, at least one full minute of silence. Surely that’s not the end of our adventure. That would be even more disappointing than The Neverending Story was when Mrs. Circlepit and I rewatched it last year for the first time since we were kids. Yeah, I said it.

Real talk: y’all’s nostalgia is clouding your view; that movie is a turd. We’re given no reason whatsoever to care about Atreyu (or his horse Artax, for that matter, even though Artax is the only likeable character in the movie aside from the bookshop owner), and then when that damn wiener kid Bastian gets to return home and is asked what he’ll wish for next, he doesn’t wish to have his mom back, even though losing her seems to be the source of most of his troubles. No, he goes straight to using Falkor to chase and terrorize his bullies. “I’ll see you in hell, Mom, I’ve got terror to inflict!” I’ve read that Micheal Ende, who wrote the novel that the movie is kind of based upon, did not like the adaptation, and tried to sue to block its release and/or force a name change. He was unsuccessful, but he was not wrong for trying.

Also, I found this on wikipedia, and it made me laugh: “Gene Siskel said the film’s special effects and art direction were cheap-looking and that Falkor the luckdragon resembled the sort of stuffed toy you’d win at a county fair and throw out when you left. He also referred to Noah Hathaway [Atreyu] as a ‘dullard’ and said the film was ‘much too long,’ even after [Roger] Ebert pointed out the film was only 90 minutes long.” I like to think that Siskel responded to that with something along the lines of “okay, then it’s 90 minutes too long.” And I know it’s a kids movie, dammit, but I also know that kids movies are capable of being good.

For example, we rewatched Honey, I Shrunk the Kids for the first time in 30-odd years (not to be confused with 30 Odd Foot of Grunts) last week. It held up much better, and it was quite good. It was funny and well-paced, and the special effects were really well done, especially for the time. It’s no Goonies or anything, but it’s light years ahead of The Neverending Story. By the way, Roger Ebert was critcal of Honey, I Shrunk the Kids after praising The Neverending Story, proving once again that critics don’t know shit about dick, and at least strongly implying that Roger Ebert may have been something of a dullard himself.

Sorry, I got a bit off track there. The tape stopped like 20 minutes ago, by the way. “The Same Note Over and Over and Over Again” was indeed the last “song” on “Side B” of Late 90s Mix (Save), and that is indeed disappointing, but as it turns out, still not as disappointing as The Neverending Story.

I’m pretty sure there used to be a couple of Sepultura songs on there at some point. Probably “Territory”, and either “Refuse/Resist” or “The Hunt” (maybe both). I was into Chaos A.D. real hard back then.

Anyway, I hope you enjoyed this trip down memory lane with me. There’ll be more installments of Old-Ass Mixtape Reviews at some point. I got a lot of old-ass mixapes. Thanks for reading, and if you like what you read, why not leave a comment and/or tell a friend?

Old-Ass Mixtape Reviews, Volume 2: Late 90s Mix (Save): Side A

/ Rev. Joel / 2 Comments

Welcome! Today I’m gonna I listen to an old mixtape for the first time in a long time, and I’m gonna write while I do it, just to make myself write. We’ll see what happens. I did this once before, and I don’t know if anyone else really saw it, but it was a fun exercise, so I decided to do it again, because I have a lot of shit rattling around in my think hole.

For Volume 1, I pressed play and wrote while the tape was playing, ostensibly to write a real-time “first listen”-type review, but also to just force myself to write for a set period of time. I kinda did that this time, but I also kinda didn’t. More “overdubs” this time, you might say.

Late 90s Mix (Save) is a 90-minute cassette, and frankly, I don’t have time to cover the whole thing right now. Instead you’ll get Side A, and you’ll like it. You should consider yourself lucky to get 45 minute’s-worth of recorded content. When I was your age we had to put tape over the holes on old Foreigner tapes or whatever and record over them, and we were happy to have 45 minutes of recording space for an entire tape.

Here’s a link to Volume 1, if you missed it, or just wanna re-live the magic.

Late 90s Mix (Save) hasn’t been around nearly as long as Beloved Songs, and as such, I believe most of the source material was recorded from compact disc. Plus it entered my life as an actual blank tape made for recording from compact discs. This is the real deal: Memorex CD2 90. We’re talking Type II High Bias, High Output, Wide Dynamic Range, baby! This is the kind of tape that has a spot on the label to indicate whether or not you turned on the Dolby Noise Reduction before you hit “REC” (it would seem I did not), whereas Beloved Songs was recorded onto a 10-year-old Bob Seger tape or something.

What I’m saying is that I suspect it’ll be much easier to listen to than the first one, but who knows? Anything can happen in this thrilling world of zero-stakes, esoteric personal blogging. You’ll just have to strap yourself in for the ride and find out along with me.

Actual footage of us finding out together.

Without further ado…

Side A

  1. Kickin things off with “7 Words” by Deftones. I’m into this, but so far, the sound is real in-n-out. Better than Beloved Songs, but let’s see how good you sound after you’re recorded over an old Bon Jovi tape or some shit. This song spoke directly to my angst in the mid-to-late 90s, and I still dig it, but where early Deftones is concerned, “Bored” is more my style these days. Lots of background noise afterward. If only I’d used that Dolby Noise Reduction.

2. Oh, shit, it’s “Collapse” by Brutal Truth! This song will surely have a place on the Official Soundtrack to the End Times. If you need convincing, listen to the song while ruminating on the fact that we are, in fact, living in the End Times. Not like in the Bible and shit, but for real. I’ve written about Brutal Truth some before. Some of it can be found on my other, even less-frequently-updated blog, but the rest is in notebooks that you’ll likely never see.

3. I suspected there might be another BT song, and then I got smacked upside the head by “Media Blitz”. This was my introduction to the caustic vocals of Mike IX Williams of Eyehategod (his is the voice you can kind of understand), and although I didn’t think much about it at the time, it was also my introduction to The Germs.

Here’s a blog-exclusive bonus track (!) – the original version of “Media Blitz”:

4. “Sunless Saturday” by Fishbone! I like Fishbone a lot, but not as much as I feel like I should like them. I don’t know if that makes sense, but it makes sense to me. I think I maybe saw them perform this on Saturday Night Live, but that might be some crazed fever dream. Or maybe it was on Letterman or something. At any rate, “Sunless Saturday” fuckin rips. This one brings back memories of a mostly-miserable summer in my late teens that had a few real bright spots. This song was one of those bright spots.

5. “Police Truck” by the Dead Kennedys. Holy smokes, that guitar! I don’t really know what else to say, other than that I’ll be surprised if “Too Drunk to Fuck” isn’t next. I used to always play those two back-to-back.

6. There it is. Do I know Late 90s Joel or what? “Too Drunk to Fuck”. I once sat (slumped, really) drunk behind a futon at a guy’s house and sang this chorus over and over again. It was sad, but it was also almost certainly true, and now I find it pretty funny. I also woke up the next morning while everyone else was still asleep and ate some Hamburger Helper that had been sitting out on the stove (at least) overnight, then threw up approximately 85% my soul about 30 minutes later. I haven’t drank peach schnapps since, and I tend to have better judgement in general.

7. One thing I absolutely did not expect to hear on this excursion was “Raise Hell” by Anthrax. This song is from their Armed and Dangerous EP, which was their first release with then-new vocalist Joey Belladonna. It seems odd that I included it here. While I love Anthrax, it’s never been a favorite of mine. It’s not bad, and I surely dig the gang vocals in the chorus, but the chorus is also goofy as shit, and rhymes “fire” with “desire”, which is not automatically a bad thing, but which is certainly not a desirable feature of an Anthrax song.

8. What a strange and wodnerful age we’re living in, when a man can play an old-ass mixtape that goes from Anthrax circa 1985 straight into “Someday I Suppose” by The Mighty Mighty Bosstones. I definitely first became aware of this band from Clueless, which I saw three times in the theater. I still like Clueless a lot, but I most definitely had a thing for Alicia Silverstone back then. I even paid to watch Batman and Robin in the theater (more than once) just to see her on the big screen. Okay, I also saw it three times. You did dumb shit when you were a teenager, too. At least I can admit my mistake.

9. More Bosstones. I’m not surprised, but I have to admit I wasn’t sure who this was until the vocals kicked in. “A Man Without” (I’ll also admit I had google some of the lyrics to arrive at this conclusion). I probably haven’t heard this song since the last time I listened to this mixtape. I used to be real into the Bosstones, but especially the album Don’t Know How to Party.

10. Holy mother of fuckballs, it’s “Killing Time” by Obituary! This tape may be the actual nexus point for my divergent musical tastes. It took me a while to really get into/appreciate death metal, but for whatever reason, 1992’s The End Complete by Obituary was one of the albums that grabbed me back then.

11. Motherfucking “Silo” by Only Living Witness! This band was just utterly phenomenal, and I wish theyd’ released more than two albums.

12. And now here’s “Slug”, also by Only Living Witness. Yegods, what an incredible album Prone Mortal Form is. The Decibel Hall of Fame entry on it is one of my favorites in that series.

13. Well sumbitch, it’s “When the Shit Hits the Fan” by Souls at Zero! I completely forgot about this, but it fuckin jams. These guys were solid, both as Souls at Zero and as Wrathchild America. Their drummer/vocalist Shannon Larkin went on to join Godsmack, and while they’re not my bag, he’s still a great drummer. This is a cover of the Circle Jerks, and the original is also pretty dope, and quite relevant to today’s turbulent times. They made an acoustic version for (and appeard briefly in) the movie Repo Man, starring the late, great Harry Dean Stanton and Emilio Estevez.

Note: “When the Shit Hits the Fan” by Souls at Zero appears to be no longer available on YouTube, and that’s fucking dumb. You’ll just have to take my word(s) for it: it’s cool.

https://youtu.be/md356LoX3M8

Here are the Circle Jerks’ versions (original version first, and acoustic version second, duh)…

That’s all I got for now, pals. I’ll be back someday (I suppose)(ha!) with the exciting follow-up. Until then, be excellent to each other.

Old-Ass Mixtape Reviews, Volume 1: Beloved Songs

/ Rev. Joel / 3 Comments

Howdy! I’m trying really hard to make sure I write something every day, no matter what. Right now I’m not feeling my main project, so I thought I’d try something new(ish), just to keep my brain moving. I have a bunch of old homemade mixtapes from way way back (most recently circa 2005), and I haven’t listened to most of them in well over 10 years. What I’m gonna do, from time to time, is play one of those tapes and write about it.

I plan to write while the tape is playing, ostensibly to write a real-time “first listen”-type review, but also to just force myself to write for a set period of time. I will not allow myself stop before a tape is finished, except in cases of emergency, or if the tape just goes kaput, which so far seems like a real danger with this first one. I’ll be surprised if I can make it through a single play without this tape literally (figuratively) exploding.

Readers of my old blog might recall my Old-Ass VHS Reviews there, wherein I would review an old-ass VHS tape featuring some kind of heavy metal band or bands. This’ll be similar to those. As stated above, I’ll write while listening, and then I’ll go back over it for some light editing – minimal overdubs, unlike this tape. This tape so far is like if mud made a sound.

Oh, “this tape” by the way, is called Beloved Songs. There’s no date on it, so I’m not sure when I made it, and I legitimately have no idea what’s on it. Anyhoo, here are some words about it.

Side One

1. First up is “Lay Lady Lay” by Bob Dylan. I don’t remember liking this song before Ministry covered it on their 1996 album Filth Pig, but I guess I did. A lot of people think Filth Pig is a real piece of shit, and honestly, I understand why a long-time Ministry fan might feel that way. I, however, am more of a casual fan of Ministry, and I really like Filth Pig. Especially the title track – holy shit!

2. “Immigrant Song” by Led Zeppelin, or maybe something else…no, the chorus just kicked in, it’s definitely “Immigrant Song”. Is that a chorus? I don’t really know. Anyway, this song is dope. This recording sounds like it’s playing from the bottom of a 50-gallon drum filled with muddy water, and maybe a turd is floating on top. I might have to scrap this experiment and try another tape.

3. Is this “You Could Be Mine” by Guns ‘n Roses? I think it is. It started out as something else, and then this cut in. Oh yeah, Slash’s guitar is almost cutting through the muck. Duff’s bass is definitely discernable, but Duff is a complete badass, plus bass is almost the only thing audible on this whole tape so far. The longer this song plays, the more it sounds like if the band was playing live at an amphitheater, and I was listening from someone’s back yard like half a mile away. And it was kinda windy outside.

Side note: I sat in the living room with a tape in the VCR for three Fridays in a row in hopes of catching this video on Friday Night Videos so I could record it. Life before the internet (and without cable TV) was hard. You kids have no idea. Now get off my lawn.

https://youtu.be/6j0HfZCP-og

4. “Over the Hills and Far Away” by Led Zeppelin. This one is kinda clear. It still sounds like shit, but I could tell what it was immediately, and there was no doubt whatsoever. I fuckin love this song.

5. “Hey You” by Pink Floyd. This one is also relatively audible, especially once I remembered to turn down the bass. I can’t imagine a scenario where I’d listen to this tape ever again, but if things continue thusly, I might be able to get through it one more time for this. Holy shit! it got super loud for a sec, and then…
5a. “Nothing’s Changed Here” by Dwight Yoakam cut in during the guitar solo. Dwight is such a badass. Then after about 15 seconds…
5b. “Speak of the Devil” by Pirates of the Mississippi cut in for four lines of the chorus, and then…
5c. “Hey You” slid back in for literally 2 seconds, and then…
5d. “Where Are You Now” by Clint Black on the Big Ten Countdown on Indiana’s Country WKKG (101.5). Damn, y’all, that Bart Ellison had a smoooooth goddamn voice.

Shit, that was regular ol’ rollercoaster!

6. We now join “Monkey Business” by Skid Row already in progress. This song is so fucking good. Skid Row was so fucking good. Not just the hits, either – Skid Row was a goddamn beast from 1989’s Skid Row through 1995’s sUBHUMAN rACE. I was fortunate to see them live on the sUBHUMAN rACE tour when they opened for Van Hagar (who were touring for Balance), and I will never forget how immensly heavy Skid Row was that night.

Side One clicked off while I was telling you how motherfucking heavy Skid Row was, so I’mma flip it, reverse it, etc.

Side Two

1. Ooh, it’s “Fly Me Courageous” by Drivin’ N’ Cryin’! I haven’t heard this song in a long time. I think I still like it, but I can’t tell from this copy. I couldn’t even tell what it was until the volume shot up right at the refrain.

I was really into this song back when it was new, but I don’t remember ever listening to another Drivin’ N’ Cryin’ song.

2. “Brain Damage/Eclipse” by Pink Floyd. I was really into Pink Floyd for like 5 years in my early teens. It seems like that was pretty common among teenage boys back when I was one of them. Is that still a thing, at least with certain types of teenage boys? I still like them a lot, but I’m less likely to put them on a mixtape these days. The tape has returned to sounding like muddy buttholes.

https://youtu.be/DVQ3-Xe_suY

3. “Stranglehold” by Ted Nugent. Man, Ted Nugent is such a piece of shit. I hate myself a little bit for liking some of his songs. I saw Ted Nugent live two summers in a row (1995 and ’96, I think), with Bad Company providing support both times. I wasn’t as acutely aware of what an asshole Ted was back then, but my memories of the live performance are positive. Bad Company kicked every bit of ass both years. Also, lawn seats only cost 12 bucks.

4. “Traveling Riverside Blues” by Led Zeppelin. My discovery of Led Zeppelin coincided with the release of their box set in 1990, when I was 13. That’s a pretty perfect age for a dude to get into Led Zeppelin. Anyhoo, the box set included 2 previously unreleased songs, and this was one of them. Like the bulk of early Zeppelin, this is mostly just an amped-up cover of an old blues song, but I still dig it. I do prefer their middle period, though, especially Side Two of IV and the entirety of Houses of the Holy. I remember seeing the video for this on MTV at my aunt Connie’s house once. That was pretty exciting. I saw the video for “Sweet Child o’ Mine” once there, too. I’m getting of track, though.

5. HOLY SHIT! A live rendition of “Jesus Was Way Cool” by King Missile! I’m hoping future tapes have little surprises like this hidden inside. I feel like this must’ve been recorded off “Brave New World” on Rock 92 FM.

“If you were blind, or lame
You simply went up to Jesus
Or, well I guess if you were lame, Jesus would probably go up to you
Because it’s difficult, if you’re lame, to go up to Jesus”

And that’s the end. That was a fun little excursion. Look for another one sometime soon. Don’t look too hard, because I make no promises, but I’m gonna try to try. Thanks for reading! If you like what you read, why not tell a friend?

Don’t forget to follow Clockwise Circle Pit on Instagram and Facebook. I’m on Twitter too, even though I hate it, because it’s much easier to talk shit to Donald Trump and his kids (and Ted Cruz) there. So, y’know, follow me there if you want, but I don’t really use it for updates or anything.

Anyway…